Becoming a dad, not just a father

I begged the heavens and the cosmos to give me a little girl. A little, precious girl to teach her about the world and men.

Self-worth and confidence. I was convinced women need men and vice versa. And there are some lessons only a dad can give.

Men have a way of tearing down intrinsic values in women. Not my daughter. I’m fully aware even if she isn’t yet.

But this was different. So many emotions ran through me. The typical missing dad story is not mine.

My dad has always been in my life. And I had two moms. But sometimes, people tried to downplay my feelings about my fatherhood-son relationship.

It never seemed like my story was enough to matter to anyone. Now, I’m a dad. And all those emotions I let people suppress have to be dealt with.

Not like I’ve been reeling from my emotions since my daughter was born. But there has been certain feelings I can’t shake.

Expectations

I just knew I would be speaking fluent German to my little one. We would have a language all our own.

I knew I would have all the time in the world to make sure your was well-rounded. Single handedly.

You expect everything to go smooth. But you are up at 2 a.m. feeding the newborn. Running to the store to get more formula.

The only thing you can think about while at work is holding your newbie. I know I couldn’t wait to get home to hold her until we both passed out.

Where’s the time?

Financial responsibilities

I thought I would graduate, land a full-time writing gig and have the free time to spend with the little one.

I mapped all types of budgets with my wife just to make sure will met all our obligations.

Nothing will go according to your plan guys, but be flexible enough to change.  I thought things were spiraling out of control.

Not until I let my guard down and embraced change, could I happily move on. No, like really move on.

No grudges or no regrets. Accepting life for the choices I made and those I made with my wife. Learn you are a good dad.

Even if you can’t provide everything you thought of. If the spouse or loved ones don’t tell you, I will.

As long as your little one doesn’t lack necessities and has your consistency, they will be fine.

Pennies count,

The Dollar Dad

 

 

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